Cause and Effect: Divorce Final

Kayla Will
Sheila Allard
Written Communications
10 May 2010
Kayla Will: Cause and Effects of Divorce
Everyone dreams about that one person they will meet and eventually fall madly in love with and have that fantastic relationship, think they are the luckiest person in the world, and then experience that amazing wedding that only happens in fairytales. What people don’t dream about is that tragic divorce that can ruin your happily ever after so quickly. No one wants to see a once so wonderful relationship between two people end in a dreadful divorce. Unfortunately that happens more often than we would like to see.
The divorce rate in the United States has commonly been going up throughout the 20th century, although it reached its peak in the late 1970’s. Since that peak, it has been declining. Back in the 1950’s the rate of divorce was about five divorces per one thousand women. Wouldn’t it be nice if that were the same rate today? Currently, the most recent data has shown about twenty divorces per one thousand women as opposed to the divorce peak, which was about twenty-three divorces per one thousand women. (“Relationships.” MissouriFamilies.org. Hughes, Robert Jr. (Ph.D, Former Professor) n.d. Web.)
Why do divorces fail? What causes them? Those two questions are frequently asked and there are honestly so many long, difficult, and different answers to those simple questions. If every cause or reason was talked about in this paper, it would take hours and hours to read. Instead, we will focus on three common causes, in no particular order, that can contribute to divorce.
The first being lack of communication. So many young couples or even older couples for that matter don’t realize the importance of communication between you and your spouse. Communication is a combination of revealing any thoughts, emotions, or ideas. It is commonly one of the most important aspects of a marriage. If effective communication is not present in a marriage, it could possibly suffer and slowly weaken over time. To have effective communication, one must be willingly to be open with their emotions and feelings and not afraid to talk to their spouse about anything. If not, the marriage could possibly end in divorce. (“Divorce: A lack of Communication.” Associatedcontent.com. Shumba, Aziza. 29 Dec. 2008. Web.)
The second being money. I’m sure this one does not come as any surprise. Money is a very good thing, but has the potential to be a very bad thing. Money can’t buy happiness, love, or a healthy relationship. According to a survey conducted by Citibank, fifty-seven percent of divorced couples in the United States cited financial problems as the primary reason for the demise of their marriage (1 para 2). Many couples don’t know how to financially handle all the household expenses, child expenses, etc. This can eventually lead to a lack of good communication with their money, which unfortunately can end badly. Money is a leading cause of divorce because a spouse could use it as a symbol of power in the relationship, says Dr. Allen C. Carter, a clinical psychologist from Atlanta, GA. He believes power struggles may surface throughout the marriage, and money is usually the root of the problem (1 para 16).
The third being infidelity. This may be the hardest and most devastating of all the causes that can contribute to divorce. We all are aware of some of the famous people in this world being involved in affairs. For example, Tiger Woods who cheated on his wife, Elin, with many different women. Along with Jesse James who was sneaking around with a stripper. Don’t forget Bill Clinton who also had an affair while he was with his wife. Infidelity can be the most damaging thing to a marriage. Statistics show that, although widely reported, sixty percent of men and forty percent of women will be involved in an affair at some point of their married life. While dealing with the pain of experiencing infidelity, there are emotions that one usually has. Those being: denial, anger, and rejection. These are strong emotions that could possibly need some sort of therapy if not able to handle alone. It’s the depth of betrayal and emotional pain that often leads to divorce. (“Infidelity often leads to divorce.” About.com. Meyer, Cathy. n.d. Web.)
Just like the causes of divorce, there are so many different effects divorce can have on the individual, the couple, and/ or children. The effects of divorce can differ by situation and circumstance and may be different for men and women. There can be both negative and positive effects of divorce. Usually, but not always, women can handle the emotional effects better than men. This is due to the fact that women usually have a better and stronger support system behind them, and friends and family will help them cope with their emotions. Men will sometimes keep it locked up and not let their feelings show to anyone. This is not always the case, just my personal opinion.
There are also the legal effects that come into play with a divorce. Who gets the car? Who gets the house? Who gets what? What do we do about the children? These are tough decisions that both spouses have to make, either alone or with a judge. There are a lot of other things that are involved with divorce and the effects that are not mentioned in this paper. Like I mentioned before, it would take hours and hours to read all the information about every cause and every effect of divorce.
As this paper has shown, divorce can be a sad and depressing life changing event for someone. There are always those cases that divorce may be the best thing for a couple. It all depends on the situation and what it all entails. I wish everyone a happy and safe journey on finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with, if you have not already. I hope that we all can find one of those fairytale endings that everyone is looking for, and not one of those fairytale divorces.




Works Cited
Hughes, Robert Jr (Ph.D). "Relationships." MissouriFamilies.org. 20 Aug. 2008. Web. 7 May 2010.
Shunba, Aziza. "Divorce: A Lack of Communication." Associatedcontent.com. 29 Dec. 2006. Web. 10 May 2010.
Waldman, Steven. "The Case against Divorce." MasterFILE Premier. EBSCO, Jan.-Feb. 96. Web. 10 May 2010.

“Why Money is the Leading Cause of Divorce”. Jet. FindArticles.com. 10 May 2010. Web.

Cause and Effect Essay. Research Process #3

My paper is coming along very nicely. It is kind of a sad paper, but I have found some good information. I sure do hope that I am doing the whole citation thing right!

I also look forward to seeing what everyone else has decided to do for their papers!

Cause and Effect Essay: Research Process #2

After doing some research on my topic, I have come to find some interesting stories about divorces. I have also come across that there are so many causes of divorce it will be hard to talk about all of them. So I have decided to break it down and talk about 3 that I think are the most effective.

The 3 causes I will be talking about will be:
1)Lack of communication
2)Money
3)Infidelity

I am also trying to find a good article that talks about the effects that divorce has on you. I understand that there are too many reasons that come with this. I will hopefully try to stay more with the emotional type effects and not go to in depth with any of the other effects.
But we will see as I continue to research.

Earth Day.

Earth Day.

After reading this article on Earth Day, there was alot of information about making it a business and making money for Earth Day. I can remember when I was in grade school, and the whole school would go around the school grounds and pick up any garbage, rake leaves, and pick up sticks to make the school grounds look nice. It would be a whole day event kind of thing and everyone would have fun doing it. We then would have drinks and snacks and play a bunch of games with all our friends.

When I got to high school, we still would do stuff for Earth Day. The whole high school would get divided into groups and be assigned to a certain part of the whole town of Hustisford. Each group would have gloves and bags to pick up any of the garbage. We would walk from the high school into town, picking up any garbage along the way. We all still had fun even though we were picking up garbage. Because 1) We were with our friends. 2) We got out of class for it. and 3)We knew we were doing a good thing for not only the community but for the cleanliness of the Earth.

I think every school should do something like this for Earth day, because even picking up that can on the side of the road makes the world look like a much prettier place rather than having that piece of alumminum on gravel.

Cause and Effect Essay Research Process.

Divorce.

I am doing my Trend Essay on the cause and effects of Divorce.
I realize I am a tad late on starting my research due to not figuring out what I wanted to do, so I apologize that I do not have any articles or any information about it yet.
I am currently reseraching my topic and gathering my needed information.
I am hoping this will be a good topic to pick for the cause and effect essay because I will be able to talk about both the causes of divore and the effects of divorce wether they may be negative or positive.

Meeting Donald Driver.

I am going to tell you about the time I went to go and see Donald Driver, #80 the wide reciever who plays for the Green Bay Packers.

I have always been obssessed with Donald Driver. He has always been my favorite football player ever since I began watching football. He is an outstanding player, not to mention the fact that he is absolulty gorgeous!

One day my cousin had informed me that Donald Driver was going to have a book signing in the Goodwill in Beaver Dam, WI, about 30 mintues from my hometown. I was so excited, I told my mom that we were going no matter what. It was still a few weeks away, so she said "We'll see." Those few weeks went by and my mom called me on her way home from work that day and said "Hey, do you want to go and see Donald Driver tonight, I got off work a little early." My response was "Absolutly." So we went to make our way to Beaver Dam to go and see Donald Driver. I was sooooo excited. When we got there, the line was very long, but I didn't care, I would defenelty wait. We eventually made our way to the front of the line, where I was greeted by Donald Driver. He shook my hand, signed my book, and took a picture with me. I then told him that I loved him and wanted to marry him. Haha. He told me, "I'm sorry sweatheart but I am already married." Haha. It was so cool to see him in person, and I will never forget it.

My Uncle Richard.

“A picture is worth a thousand words.” Pretty simple is it not? Only in my story, a picture is more like worth a thousand memories. As I gaze at the picture of my uncle Richard and I dancing together, those thousand memories race through my mind so clearly, it seemed like they happened yesterday. This simple but beautiful picture not only signifies memories, but life in general, and the future and what it will be like when we see each other again.
As I stated above, this picture signifies memories. “Memories are the treasures that are kept locked deep within the soul, to keep the heart warm in time of need.” These treasures are so very dear to me because I can look up at that picture, which softly lies on my shelf, and I can remember all those memories that I had with my uncle Richard. Those memories consisted of so many different things, whether it was lending a helping hand towards something, visiting him when he broke his back, or just simply dropping by to say hello. I never once left his presence without a smile on my face. He was just that kind of man who could get you to have those deep stomach pains from laughing so much. These memories not only make me smile when I think of them, but they have helped me cope through his death, and have given me the strength and faith to go on and live my life in ways that he taught me.
Looking past the fact that this object is just a picture, it holds significance of life in general, and the beautiful things it consists of. Ever since my uncle Richard passed away, I shamefully admit that I sometimes took life for granted. I now try my hardest not to do that anymore because for one, life is just too short, and in life you experience many different adventures and exciting things that you want to capture, so I did just that with this picture. I captured the exciting moment when I was dancing with my uncle Richard at a wedding. He enjoyed dancing, but it was rare that there was a picture to go along with it. Those simple moments are what make life so precious. Life itself is a prized gift, and it is our decision to live it to the best we can. My uncle Richard truly lived his life to the best he could everyday, and I always admired him for that. I believe his life got taken away form him too soon, and that is why I no longer take my life for granted, because at any given moment, it may be the last.
In addition to memories and life in general, this picture defines the future. The future alone will hold many new experiences for me that I am not aware of yet. But one thing I know for sure is that I will see my uncle Richard again, and having that knowledge really relieves me, and helps me look forward to that day. Right now in the present, I can only imagine of what it will be like. What will we say? What will we look like? Those questions do not matter to me, what matters is that I will be able to see my uncle again, and at that moment I will be so filled with joy, words will not be necessary.
Memories, life in general, and the future are just a few of the many components that define this picture. Sure, some people may look at it as just a picture, but I look much deeper than that because it was my personal experience and I am so proud that I did not pass up the opportunity to step out onto the dance floor with my uncle. If I would have, I would not be able to have this special remembrance with my uncle Richard that no one else has.