Cause and Effect: Divorce Final

Kayla Will
Sheila Allard
Written Communications
10 May 2010
Kayla Will: Cause and Effects of Divorce
Everyone dreams about that one person they will meet and eventually fall madly in love with and have that fantastic relationship, think they are the luckiest person in the world, and then experience that amazing wedding that only happens in fairytales. What people don’t dream about is that tragic divorce that can ruin your happily ever after so quickly. No one wants to see a once so wonderful relationship between two people end in a dreadful divorce. Unfortunately that happens more often than we would like to see.
The divorce rate in the United States has commonly been going up throughout the 20th century, although it reached its peak in the late 1970’s. Since that peak, it has been declining. Back in the 1950’s the rate of divorce was about five divorces per one thousand women. Wouldn’t it be nice if that were the same rate today? Currently, the most recent data has shown about twenty divorces per one thousand women as opposed to the divorce peak, which was about twenty-three divorces per one thousand women. (“Relationships.” MissouriFamilies.org. Hughes, Robert Jr. (Ph.D, Former Professor) n.d. Web.)
Why do divorces fail? What causes them? Those two questions are frequently asked and there are honestly so many long, difficult, and different answers to those simple questions. If every cause or reason was talked about in this paper, it would take hours and hours to read. Instead, we will focus on three common causes, in no particular order, that can contribute to divorce.
The first being lack of communication. So many young couples or even older couples for that matter don’t realize the importance of communication between you and your spouse. Communication is a combination of revealing any thoughts, emotions, or ideas. It is commonly one of the most important aspects of a marriage. If effective communication is not present in a marriage, it could possibly suffer and slowly weaken over time. To have effective communication, one must be willingly to be open with their emotions and feelings and not afraid to talk to their spouse about anything. If not, the marriage could possibly end in divorce. (“Divorce: A lack of Communication.” Associatedcontent.com. Shumba, Aziza. 29 Dec. 2008. Web.)
The second being money. I’m sure this one does not come as any surprise. Money is a very good thing, but has the potential to be a very bad thing. Money can’t buy happiness, love, or a healthy relationship. According to a survey conducted by Citibank, fifty-seven percent of divorced couples in the United States cited financial problems as the primary reason for the demise of their marriage (1 para 2). Many couples don’t know how to financially handle all the household expenses, child expenses, etc. This can eventually lead to a lack of good communication with their money, which unfortunately can end badly. Money is a leading cause of divorce because a spouse could use it as a symbol of power in the relationship, says Dr. Allen C. Carter, a clinical psychologist from Atlanta, GA. He believes power struggles may surface throughout the marriage, and money is usually the root of the problem (1 para 16).
The third being infidelity. This may be the hardest and most devastating of all the causes that can contribute to divorce. We all are aware of some of the famous people in this world being involved in affairs. For example, Tiger Woods who cheated on his wife, Elin, with many different women. Along with Jesse James who was sneaking around with a stripper. Don’t forget Bill Clinton who also had an affair while he was with his wife. Infidelity can be the most damaging thing to a marriage. Statistics show that, although widely reported, sixty percent of men and forty percent of women will be involved in an affair at some point of their married life. While dealing with the pain of experiencing infidelity, there are emotions that one usually has. Those being: denial, anger, and rejection. These are strong emotions that could possibly need some sort of therapy if not able to handle alone. It’s the depth of betrayal and emotional pain that often leads to divorce. (“Infidelity often leads to divorce.” About.com. Meyer, Cathy. n.d. Web.)
Just like the causes of divorce, there are so many different effects divorce can have on the individual, the couple, and/ or children. The effects of divorce can differ by situation and circumstance and may be different for men and women. There can be both negative and positive effects of divorce. Usually, but not always, women can handle the emotional effects better than men. This is due to the fact that women usually have a better and stronger support system behind them, and friends and family will help them cope with their emotions. Men will sometimes keep it locked up and not let their feelings show to anyone. This is not always the case, just my personal opinion.
There are also the legal effects that come into play with a divorce. Who gets the car? Who gets the house? Who gets what? What do we do about the children? These are tough decisions that both spouses have to make, either alone or with a judge. There are a lot of other things that are involved with divorce and the effects that are not mentioned in this paper. Like I mentioned before, it would take hours and hours to read all the information about every cause and every effect of divorce.
As this paper has shown, divorce can be a sad and depressing life changing event for someone. There are always those cases that divorce may be the best thing for a couple. It all depends on the situation and what it all entails. I wish everyone a happy and safe journey on finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with, if you have not already. I hope that we all can find one of those fairytale endings that everyone is looking for, and not one of those fairytale divorces.




Works Cited
Hughes, Robert Jr (Ph.D). "Relationships." MissouriFamilies.org. 20 Aug. 2008. Web. 7 May 2010.
Shunba, Aziza. "Divorce: A Lack of Communication." Associatedcontent.com. 29 Dec. 2006. Web. 10 May 2010.
Waldman, Steven. "The Case against Divorce." MasterFILE Premier. EBSCO, Jan.-Feb. 96. Web. 10 May 2010.

“Why Money is the Leading Cause of Divorce”. Jet. FindArticles.com. 10 May 2010. Web.